The Great Pacifier Debate

I've realized that this debate is really in my head and on the internet because, beside my mother, I don't know anyone personally who thinks there is a debate...babies use pacifiers.  My sisters and I didn't use them and we didn't suck our thumbs.  This is just how it was.  I don't remember this of course but this is what I've known because of my mom so I have always planned on not having them around with my babies.

There aren't many people that I really explain to why I don't want to have pacifiers because I'm always afraid I'm going to offend someone.  I had told someone, who didn't have children, awhile ago all my reasons and they seemed offended because they had a pacifier when they were a baby so I've been very careful with what I say.  Well, this is my blog so I'm going to put it out there. And I'll throw in some pictures to keep it interesting;)

Loves being awake at 3 am

Let me start off by saying that I have always felt this way.  No one who has had children in the last ten years has made me feel this way.  Ok, the first reason is for aesthetic reasons.  It really bothers me when every picture of a kid they have a binky in their mouth.  Superficial reason? Yep, but it's how I feel.

The second reason I don't like them is because I feel like they impede on a little one's speech development.  There is no research on my part about this it's just my opinion.  When a child has a binky in their mouth I have found they seem to not really talk or can't really say words like they are supposed to be said.  In my current research though this idea is brought up so I'm not crazy.

So tough

Lastly, I think parents use binkies as a babysitter sometimes.  Instead of figuring out what is really wrong or what the little wants they just stick that binky in the mouth to get them to shut up.  I would be fine with them if it was just to calm the kid but when a child is running around having a good time with a binky in their mouth I just don't get it.

Worried about his Uncle in Boston

When we first met with our pediatrician before Lucas was born we discussed our want to not use a pacifier.  One of my friend's kids didn't use a paci but she felt bad for her daughter sometimes because she didn't have anything to soothe herself.  This was not something I had thought of so I brought this up with the doctor.  He completely supported us not using the binky though.

So pensive

Well, in the hospital we had a sign on Lucas's basinet that said 'No Pacifiers'.  When Lucas was in the nursery one night a nurse disregarded that sign and we saw a pacifier in his basinet.  Kevin took this as a sign that maybe we will need one so when Lucas was having a fit Kevin tried putting it in his mouth.  I started crying...hard.  It was day two and something I have such strong convictions about were going out the window.  Lucas wouldn't take it though.  About a week and a half ago Lucas was screaming and crying and nothing would calm him so we tried the paci again and again I was crying too.  My mom was able to handle three babies without a pacifier...how could I not even get through a month with my first one?!  I felt like a failure again but again Lucas wouldn't take it so my frustration didn't last for long.

Our little one won't sleep on his own and he has some really bad gas issues where he just screams.  Things that soothe him is sucking on his father's finger, sucking on his own hand or nursing but not to feed.  I don't want him to be a thumb sucker because you can't take that away and though I am here for him whenever he needs me I am in pain! So after another conversation with our pediatrician (remember we have a temperamental baby?) and him saying a pacifier might be a good idea and lots of research on the internet we may be introducing a pacifier to our son.  It honestly kills me because now the two things I felt so strongly about at the beginning a of our son's life, sleeping on his own and not having a binky, is gone.  If I've learned anything in the last month it is that whatever plan you have doesn't matter.  Your child is going to make his own plan.

The American Academy of Pediatrics and the Mayo Clinic state that giving a baby a pacifier when they go down to sleep from age one month to one year old will lessen the chance of SIDS.  Just about every decision we have been making followed their guidelines on SIDS except for the pacifier so why not follow that one also?  I'm trying to make myself feel better about this.

I'm going to really try to make sure that we don't use this thing as a babysitter.  I want to try everything else first but we'll have it there just in case.  I told Kevin that when he turns a year old though the binky is out.  Kevin looked at me and said I really need to stop trying to make these stringent guidelines or I'm going to continue to end up in tears.  I get it but if I don't have some sort of plan then I will go crazy.  Of course I researched what the best binkies for newborns are so they will be here tomorrow.  Lucas hasn't taken the one the hospital gave us but he also hasn't had any issues taking a bottle so I ordered binkies that are more like those nipples.  If he won't take one though I definitely will not push it but it hurts my core when he his screaming, tears running down his face, not able to breathe because he is crying so hard that I have to try this.

Friday night is the night that we are going to start our own version of sleep training. And by that I mean we are going to try and get him to sleep on his own.  The pacifiers will be there if we need it.  There will probably be some tears this weekend (by me) but for our family it is time that we get Lucas in his own bed and if we can get Lucas to calm down through any of his screaming sessions it would be a success.  Wish us luck! And hopefully you aren't judging me:)